when the pizza guy came over today i was like “have a good day” and he said “dont tell me what to do” and i just stood there staring at him and then he’s like “lol i got that from drake and josh”
cosmo tip #247
during intercourse, embrace him and softly whisper “are you feeling it mr. krabs?
dead.
on my first day of work at mcdonalds a little girl came in with her dad and when i asked what she wanted she told me the party pack 50 piece chicken mcnugget and her dad was like no sweetheart you cant eat that much and she screamed YOU UNDERESTIMATE MY ABILITIES and then kicked her dad in the balls and he fell to the floor and she was only like 6 years old omg
